...That's not great.

A little CityMama link love never hurt anyone.

I discovered CityMama and her (at the time) Portland-mama blog in mid-2004, just after she moved to the city and gave birth to her second (lovely) daughter, Wallie. I loved reading her stories about raising kids in Portland, the city of my childhood.

So, when I heard she was hiring bloggers to writer city-centric posts for The Savvy Source, I jumped at the chance to be involved; and I am honored to be part of the Savvy Team.

Today was the BIG reveal (go there NOW - she has giveaways!) on her personal blog, and I want to welcome any readers who have made their way here. If you live in the Puget Sound, I hope you'll hop over to Being Savvy Seattle, where I am posting and insider's look each weekday on adventures and activities for you and your preschooler to enjoy. And if you have any insight to offer on Seattle, I'm all ears.

Oprah's list be damned.

Apparently, Oprah doesn't want us ladies to be shlumpadinkas. (Yes, she is powerful enough to be able to make up her own words.)  As part of a recent episode (Shlumpadinka Makeovers), Oprah directed her minions to make over some shlumpadinka ladies, and instead of taking women to Neiman Marcus or Nordstrom, they went places more readily available (via location and price) to the masses (like JC Penney, The Gap and Sears).  All hail, Oprah!

Further, her stylist Lloyd Boston unveiled his list of ten wardrobe must haves:

1. Trench coat.
2. Black (or white) turtleneck.
3. Black trousers.
4. Tunic.
5. White jeans.
6. Dark jeans.
7. Black dress.
8. White denim jacket.
9. Black skirt.
10. Timeless cashmere sweater.

The only thing I really have to say is OMG, WHITE JEANS.

Moving on.

Now, you know the internets would have something to say about this.  And, BOY, did we ever.  Susan of Friday Style tasked us with coming up with our own list of ten must have wardrobe items. 

Here's my list of 10 wardrobe must-haves.

1. Dark jeans: high and low (one for heels, one for flats).  I love trouser jeans - especially ones that I can wear to work, too.
2. Black trousers: high and low (see above).
3. Turtleneck. Black is a great color to start with, then go for a punch of color.
4. White t-shirt. Make sure it's not see through and is nice enough to be worn on its own.  Choose a neckline that works on your body; whether it's crew, scoop or v.  Expand the colors to include black and brown.
5. Button-up shirt. The length of the sleeves will depend on your climate.  White is a great color to start with, but blue and grey are also lovely.  And, yes, the Oprah shirt, is a fantasic option.  I have it in light blue and pink checked, natch.
6. Khaki pants. These can be whatever color works for your style (I have khakis in tan, brown, and black).
7. Twill jacket (could also be a tailored jeans jacket). Dressy enough to pair with trousers, but could also work with the khakis or jeans. Would also look great over the button-up, white t-shirt or turtleneck.
8. V-neck sweater (not black).  Something in silk and/or cashmere. 
9. Three-season coat. This could be a trench coat and think about doing this in a bright color like blue or red.
10. Scarf.  Oh, how I love my scarfs.  I have them in wool and jersey.  Susan provides a great tutorial of ways to tie scarves, so there's no excuse for not being able to figure it out.  This can really sophisticate an outfit.

Now, I have a few more additions for those of us whose work wardrobe must include some dressier items.

1. All-season suit, preferably in black.  You may be able to combine a pair of the black pants from above with a matching suit jacket and save a bit of money.  Be sure to find the fit that works best for your body.  You'll have this suit for a while.
2. A dressy sweater set (not in black).  I prefer a sleeveless tank under a full-sleeve button up sweater.  You can easily break these two items up and combine with the other shirts above. 
3. Pin-stripped trousers.  We've got to mix it up a little bit.
4. Patterned top.  This can be a jersey knit or another stretch fabric.
5. Non-black suit jacket. Could be houndtooth, could be velvet.  Will be lovely, for sure.

And for the few summer months here in Seattle.

1. White poplin trousers (please make sure they are lined!).  They make everything else in your wardrobe look summery.  Somehow, white poplin trousers = perfect!  And white jeans = hideous.
2. Short-sleeved "stuff": a button-up, sweater and jersey knit.
3. Capris and/or knee length shorts.  I'm in my early 30s and no one needs to see my upper thighs unless we're on vacation.

Finally one "bonus" item.

1. "The Dress".  You may have noticed that I haven't previously listed a skirt or dress.  Frankly, I'm not often caught in one.  But I do think that it is important to own a few that look and feel great on when you need to wear one.  And, for the record, if you are a person that likes to wear skirts, you can easily switch out the khakis or jeans from above for a jean or khaki skirt.  Don't worry, I won't be offended.

Next up?  THE SHOES (via the direction of Merry Mishaps).  Which to me, is as important as (if not MORE important) the clothes. Because no matter what shape or size I am, I can always find shoes that fit.

Here's some drugstore love for your skin.

As I mentioned in my skincare primer, the benefits your skin will achieve through the use of products has less to do with the actual product, and more to do with consistently using the product.  You can get great results from products that you can fin in your neighborhood drugstore. 

I have horrible skin.  There, I said it.  I still occasionally get acne, sometimes on my back and chest.  I get ingrown hairs.  I have Keratosis pilaris.  Left untreated, my skin is dry, dry, dry.  Like the post category suggests; I am a "product whore" (well, a recovering one now that I have actually tried EVERYTHING out there).  Here's some great products I have found at the local drugstore that have produced great results for me.

Cleanser love.
What makes a good cleanser?  For most skin types, we need something that will thoroughly cleanse (but not strip) off make-up, dirt and extra oil.  And, most of the time, you just need a simple, yet great, cleanser to do the job.  Here's a few I love:

            

Ah, the classic Cetaphil cleaser.  At $12, you get a non-comedogenic, and fragrance free cleanser, that should be non-irritating for even the most sensitive of skin.  Really looking for a deal?  Then go with the Basis Cleaner Clean face wash; about $5.50.  The Basis cleanser comes with me when I travel and am looking to downsize my make-up bag.  Here's a secret: I even used it on a business trip to wash a pair of socks in the hotel sink.  We all love products that can do double duty.

Other goodies: Aveeno Ultra Calming (great for sensitive skin) and Dove Facial Cleansing Cloths (the cloth is a great exfoliator).

Cream of the crop.
Before I found (and fell deep in love with) Philosophy products, I had searched and tried and exhausted myself looking quality (and price conscious!) facial products.  What I found was almost so old-school, it was retro: Oil of Olay.  They have several lines of facial projects, but I particularly love the Regenerist line.  My favorites include:

            

The Regenerist Eye (about $18) has an amino-peptide complex that hydrates the delicate skin around the eye.  I've found it very silky and cooling to the eye.  I REALLY love the Regenerist Night (also about $18) is amazing.  It's just the right consistency for a night cream.  The other Regenerist products are equally impressive.

Runner's up: Neutrogena Healthy Skin Anti-Wrinkle Cream (great SPF for a day cream) and Neutrogena Visibly Firm.

What about acne?
For facial acne, I (along with TONS of others) have used Proactiv with success.  My acne has never been horrible, and I found the 3-step system to be very drying for my skin.  The Sister also has used Proactiv and found that if she just uses the cleanser once a day; it holds her acne at bay.  One Proactive product that I still use is the Refining Mask.  It's great for two things.  One, it's a terrific weekly mask for cleaning out your pores, and two, it works well overnight on an acne flare-up.  Just put a dab on the potential pimple, and in the morning you will see a reduction in the redness and overall appearance of the pimple.  My kids give me funny looks when they see me in the morning, but it's worth it.

For the most part, I now can keep my facial acne breakouts to a minimum.  However, it took me a long time to figure out how to keep the dreaded bacne (back acne) and chest acne (chacne??) at bay.  I never broke out that much, just a pimple here or there.  But still, hello, ANNOYING!  Here's the system I found that has worked wonders for me:

            

For $6, Neutrogena Body Clear Body Wash provides you with a great, all-over body wash that contains 2% salicylic acid (a well-known acne fighter).  It also comes in a scrub formula, and I use that one to two times a week.  I then follow-up with Nature's Cure Body Acne Treatment Spray ($10) on my chest and back.  It also contains 2% salicylic acid as part of its formulation.  The neat feature of the product packaging is that the pump sprays from every angle, even upside down, making it easy to reach all the areas you are looking to treat.  As a caveat, I must tell you that you may notice a slight increase in breakouts when you start this treatment.  I read about it on the drugstore.com's site, so I was fully expecting it.  This is often the case at the beginning of an acne treatment, as the products dry out the skin.  Stick with it and you should see results. 

Other acne resources: go check out acne.org.  It's one of the best resources on the internet about acne.  I learned about the causes of acne, different kinds of acne and some products that I had never heard of.  Go there and take a look around for acne treatment reviews from "real people".  You may find something that will work for you.

You have what? Keratosis pilaris? 
Don't point fingers at me - you may have it too!  Keratosis pilaris (we'll call it KP) is a very common skin condition often referred to as "chicken skin".  Approximately 40-50% of the adult population have KP.  Most people with KP don't know that they have it.  While it resembles goosebumps, it is characterized by the appearance of small, rough bumps on the skin (usually on the back of the arm, although it can also occur in other areas).  It's hereditary, and while it's not the most attractive thing in the word, it is harmless.  Personally, I have it on the back of my arms and on the backs of my legs.  Previously, the only "treatment" I found that would clear it up would be the sun, but now I know how bad that is for my skin in general.  I scoured the internet looking for KP treatments.  Most seemed lackluster at best and expensive.  I then saw AmLactin products mentioned in a Glamour magazine column about KP, and decided to give them a try.  The reviews at drugstore.com were positive and the price was right.

             

I started with AmLactin Moisturizing Cream ($13).  I saw definite improvement in a few weeks by using it twice a day on the affected areas.  The nasty truth about KP is that there is no cure; so you must continue treatments forever or the redness, bumps and irritation will return.  After happily using it for about three years, I stumbled upon AmLactin XL Moisturizing Cream ($33).   All hail the alpha-hydroxy!  I have stubborn KP, so by moving to the more powerful AmLactin XL, I noticed a even GREATER improvement in the appearance of my KP.  It's a bit expensive for body lotion, but it really works.

Speaking of body lotion.

             
Udderly Smooth ($4.50) is a great product with a funny name.  Originally designed (and probably still used) for cow udders, it's a grease-less formula for really dry skin (plus, the maker uses the word "teat" in the product instructions and it always makes me giggle).  My absolute FAVORITE lotion, based on the value and the results, is Jergens Ultra Healing ($7.50).  I literally have bottles of this everywhere: on my desk at work, in the car, in my purse, on my bedside table at home.  It's not greasy, and it has definite staying power - all for under 10 bucks!

Other creams of the crop: Jason Natural Cosmetics Body Lotion (70% organic) and Keri Original (the formula hasn't changed since I used it as a teenager). 

Two random, but necessary items.

               

Eucerin's classic Aquaphor Healing Ointment ($6) is my go-to drugstore item.  It works magic on diaper rash, chapped lips, toddler cheeks (when they wipe their nose with their arm and their cheeks get chapped from the moisture), scars, eczema (the one skin condition I don't have), etc., etc.  I slather it on my lips right before bed and use it to reduce the look of scars.  Plus, it's cheap, cheap, CHEAP.  We keep several tubes around the house.  The Flexitol Heel Balm ($11) has some of the most unfortunate packaging I've seen, but this stuff works amazingly well to make your feet summer perfect.  Seriously, you'll see overnight results on your cracked or dry feet.  The scent isn't great, but after using it twice a day for a few days, you can just apply it at night. 

Other random favorites: Sally Hansen Cuticle Massage Cream (this sits on my desk at work and I apply it while checking my morning e-mail) and Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer (a favorite of many).

Now, you tell me, what are some of your favorite drugstore items?

Philosophy of the face.

I couldn't decide whether to combine my "Philosophy products review" and my "other skin products I love review".  By the title you may have noticed that I decided to go "all Philosophy, all the time" with this review.

Why Philosophy?  Why now?
Their tag line is "we believe in health and wellness, rather than health and beauty".  It's the approach that great looking skin is the best cosmetic, and rather than cover it up, we should let our natural beauty shine through.  Now, I'm as jaded as the next person, but gosh darn it, I like their philosophy (pun intended). 

I discovered Philosophy through Amalah (if you aren't reading her, you should be).  She just keep going on, and on, and ON about them; that finally I said, "FINE."  And off to Sephora I went.  I can't claim to have used every single product they offer (there's quite and bit and it can be overwhelming at first).  But, for the record, here's what I use, loved, and not liked.

The Acne Kit - $47 (items can be purchased separately at a higher cost)

My name is Bethany W.; I'm 31 years old, and I get occasional adult acne ("Hello, Bethany W.").  Acne isn't cute in your teens and it's definitely not cute in your 30s and 40s.  This kit looks to cleanse, treat, and protect your skin (while not stripping it).  The set includes: On A Clear Day Super Wash For Oily Skin, On A Clear Day Blemish Serum for Adult Acne, On A Clear Day Hydrogen Peroxide Cream, and On A Clear Day Protection Cream.  This was one of the first group of products I purchased from Philosophy.  I found that it worked well, if a bit drying.  Once I used up the contents of the kit, I've kept using the serum and the hydrogen peroxide cream and worked it into my permanent skin routine.  I think these two products have reduced my blackheads AND breakouts.

Purity Made Simple - $10-40 and Hope in a Jar - $15-55

   

Purity Made Simple and Hope in a Jar are the backbones of the Philosophy line.  Purity is a great pH balanced cleanser that washes away dirt and make-up, leaving a great foundation for your serums and moisturizers.  This is one of my favorite products that Philosophy offers.  It has a great, light sent, and it goes on smooth and doesn't irritate your eyes.  I tried Hope in a Jar and was a bit disappointed based on the glowing reviews I've seen all over the internet.  It's not the that moisturizer clogged my pores or was greasy; I was simply underwhelmed.  Me-thinks my maturing skin needs some big hitters.  Which is why I moved on to:

When Hope is not Enough - $48 and Hope in a Tube - $33

    
Frankly, I just wanted to use a product called "When Hope is not Enough"!  I love, love, LOVE these.  When Hope is not Enough is a great nighttime replenishing cream, while Hope in a Tube does dual duty as an eye and mouth cream.  I like my night creams to be emollient, and When Hope is not Enough is very luxurious feeling.  They also have a formulation that includes SPF, if you want to use it as your day cream.  Hope in a Tube is unique in that it is designed to improve and prevent the lines around your eyes AND lips.  I really don't have any lines around my lips, and hopefully if I keep using this, I won't get many.  The also carry a more advanced eye cream, Help Me, that includes a retinol treatment.  I'm looking forward to trying this next.

Just added to my routine:

Pigment of your Imagination SPF - $30 and The Supernatural Airbrushed Canvas - $35

       

A big disappointment with both the Acne Kit's Protection Cream and Hope in a Jar was the lack of SPF in them.  Since I also usually wear a primer (I can almost see Sister's eyes rolling), I looked at the Philosophy line to see if they had a primer with SPF.  The have a couple with SPF, but they are tinted, which I have always shied away from.  Then I found Pigment of Your Imagination SPF.  Yah!  It's creamy, yet light and doesn't make my face look greasy. 

I've always had a hard time wearing (or applying) foundation.  I can never get it to blend just right or the color was wrong or something.  I've tried to just use a bit of concealer and then a pressed powder, but that look was getting rough (if you know what I am saying).  I had friends who had great luck with Bare  Minerals (seriously!).  I purchased them and I do like them, but the color is just a tiny bit off on my sad complexion.  I then tried Neutrogena's mineral foundation; the color was perfect, but it made me break out (see: acne kit above).  I then put all my faith in Philosophy, and they didn't let me down.  The Supernatural Airbrushed Canvas got the color and the look right - not heavy, a bit translucent and blendable.  Lovely.  I give in Philosophy; you win.

Other products from Philosophy.
I use and like their hand cream, Time on your Hands.  The price is a bit steep ($18.50) for a hand cream, but it lasts a loooong time.  And here's what you have all been waiting for, something I tried and did not like.  I purchased the Cinnamon Buns Lip Shine and HATED IT.  It was way too sticky and the flavor was nasty.  Are you all happy?

Here's what my daily skincare routine looks like.

• Morning
  • Purity Made Simple
  • Acne Blemish Serum (chin, nose, hairline)
  • Hydrogen Peroxide Cream (same), then let skin fully dry
  • Hope in a Tube (eyes)
  • Pigment of Your Imagination SPF
  • Smashbox Primer
• Evening
  • Purity Made Simple
  • Acne Blemish Serum (chin, nose, hairline)
    
  • Hydrogen Peroxide Cream (same), then let skin fully dry
    
  • Hope in a Tube (eyes)
  • When Hope is not Enough

Speaking of which, I better head off do my routine before bed.

Up next: Other skincare products I love.

Product Review: Philosophy Microdelivery Peel.

I've been pining to try one of the Philosophy peels, so when Tim requested (on behalf of his better half), that I review one of their peels, I jumped at the opportunity. 

The Philosophy Microdelivery Peel: a peptide/vitamin c in-home peel.  $65.

This peel is supposed to deliver an in-home exfoliant that provides the mircodelivery system for the vitamin c, that in turn, improves the look and feel of your skin.  This peel delivers peptides and vitamin c to the skin as it's being rapidly exfoliated.  It resurfaces and replenishes all at the same time.

The peel process consists of two steps.  First, you apply a small amount of the vitamin c crystals to clean, dry skin.  You then gently message them in a circular motion over your entire face for up to 60 seconds (they warn you to not scrub, only massage).  Here I am happily ready to start my peel and a close-up of the vitamin c crystals.  Yum.

   

I love a good scrub, so this felt great on my skin.  The next (and final step) is adding the lactic acid/salicylic activating gel.  This gel is clear and has the consistency of a serum.  You use an amount approximately equal to the amount used for the vitamin c crystals; massage gel onto fingertips and apply on top of the vitamin c crystals.   This produces a bit of a warming sensation and a white foam will appear, as shown below.  The warming was never uncomfortable, in fact, it could have gotten a bit warmer for my taste.

That's probably too much of a close-up, but I really wanted you to really FEEL the peel.  Do you?  You leave the foam on for 2-3 minutes and then rinse off.  I took the extra step of massaging the foam for extra exfoliating benefits as suggested by the product instructions (not suggested if you have sensitive skin). 

It washed off easily and fully, leaving my skin a bit tingly and very soft.  I then finished up my night routine with my serum, eye cream and night cream.

My overall review?  Honestly, my skin felt great after the peel.  I definitely experienced the exfoliation results, as my skin felt very taut and smooth.  I took a close look at my nose (where all my blackheads hang out) and I saw a reduction in their severity.  It's been a few hours since I completed the peel and my skin still feels nicely tingly and soft.  The results feel like a mini-facial (and I am a women who knows her facials!!).  Philosophy recommends using the peel one to two times a week.  I'm planning to incorporate it into my skincare routine - I'm shooting for every Sunday evening as a way of pampering myself before the start of my workweek.

While $65 for the kit might seem a bit steep, you use so little (a teaspoon of each product) to complete the peel, that the kit should last for at least a few months (I'll keep track and report back). 

Here's some general advice about what to look for and expect from at home peels:

• These solutions typically consist of alpha hydroxy (glycolic, lactic or fruit) acid or beta hydroxy (salicyclic) acid, which, when smoothed over the skin, lifts off the top layer of cells and stimulates tightening and regeneration of tissues (the Philosophy Microdelivery Peel includes lactic and salicyclic acid).
• You should always test on the side of your face before applying it all over; if your skin becomes irritates or flaky, the peel's too strong.
• Because of the acids involved in the peel, the longer the product has been sitting in your medicine cabinet, the more variable its strength.  Be sure to do a patch test on your skin again before applying one you haven't used in a few months (the product may have become stronger or weaker).
• You'll get the best results if you incorporate a peel into your regular skincare routine (following package directions about how often to use it) and always, always finish up with sunscreen (hmm...where have you heard that before?). 

Get out there and get peeling!

Got skincare?

My faithful readers have requested that I start reviewing products (well, two of you have).  To quote my Sister (that's what I'll be calling her from now on), "She's got the knowledge and opinions!".  Well, maybe not the knowledge, but I definitely have opinions.  It's good to know all my years of reading Glamour magazine are being put to good use.

Taking care of the face God gave you.
I'd be remiss to start talking about skincare products unless we covered some "general" concepts about skin.  Here are some tidbits to remember when considering what products may work for you:

• It's less about the product and more about consistency.  I distinctly remember reading an article in The Oregonian about skincare products when I was about 13.  What stuck with me all these years was that while the article compared super-expensive department store creams and value-driven drugstore finds, what mattered most is that you actually used it consistently rather let it sit on your counter.  No product can produce results overnight; what you are doing now will affect your skin long into the future.  Expensive does not equal great skin; you can see and feel skin improvement from a variety of products at a variety of price points. 
• Balance it out.  My new facialist turned me on to this concept.  She explained to me that we have to be careful about overwashing or stripping our skin.  If you have normal to dry skin, she recommends washing it in the evening and then apply your products - serum, eye cream, moisturizer.  In the morning simply rinse with warm water and/or use toner.  No cleanser in the morning.  Toner is great for re-balancing the pH of our skin.  Plus, you don't need to spend tons of money on it.  Just look for one with no alcohol in the ingredient list.  I've been following this advice for about 3 weeks now, and I'm already seeing the benefits.  She has also taught me that the best way to rid your skin of blackheads is not to cleanse more than once a day, but to make sure your skin in well moisturized. 
• Use product that's appropriate for your place in life.  What worked great for you in your 20s may not be the appropriate choice for your 30s and 40s.  While it's skill your skin, your life is changing. Whether it be the hormones of pregnancy, the climate that you moved to or the new wrinkles you see; you should periodically assess whether your products are meeting your current skin goals.  Even if you are in LOVE with your night cream - maybe it's time to add a serum or a eye cream. 
• Do I even need to mention SPF? What really, really ages our skin is the sun.  Wrinkles, discoloration, age spots; you name it - it's caused by the sun.  I'm not going to pretend that I didn't BAKE in the sun every year until my late teens (and perhaps a few years after that).  While a I won't argue that a tan looks good on a lot of people, you'll regret it when you are 50 (or 37).  Your daily moisturizer, primer and/or foundation must include SPF.  Must.

Be afraid.  Product reviews start tomorrow. 

These are a few of my favorite things.

Now, don’t get me wrong, most weekends, you’ll catch me in my same old pair of Old Navy jeans, t-shirt, fleece, and Dansko clogs.  However, being a mom doesn’t mean having to give up your sense of fashion and fun (okay, it’s a bit of an assumption to say I had a fashion sense in the first place); and sometimes it’s the little things that we have or do for ourselves that makes all the difference in how we feel.  And no matter your idea of fashion, I think we can all agree that feeling good about ourselves is definitely fashionable.

Inspired by a recent post by Sundry at her Work It, Mom! Blog Milk and Cookies, here’s a list of a few things that make me feel fantastic, no matter what I am wearing or using them with.  Sundry calls them her “favorite feel-good products” and that how these particular products make me feel.



My silver leather Michael Kors Brookville Shopper handbag.  I can carry it with a suit or with a t-shirt and jeans and still feel fashionable.  And plenty of room for snacks and a few diapers.  It’s like magic; instant fashion.




My silver DKNY watch.  It makes me feel more put together and like I SHOULD know what I am doing.  No photo here, but trust me, it's fantastic.

Trish McEvoy Shell Eye Brightener.  It's like 4 more hours of sleep in pencil form.  It is the best thing I have found to work magic on my ginormous under eye circles.  They were bad before I had kids, and now, if possible, they are worse! 

Maidenform’s Smooth line of bras and underwear.  I just discovered these are they are fantastic.  No more “back fat” bulge.  Your back, no matter what you are wearing; will look smooth.  Promise.  The underwear is also great for moms since the waistline doesn’t bind.  And bonus, they are not going to cost you an arm and a leg.

Any products by Philosophy.  I personally love the “On a Clear Day” products, since, even though I am 31, I still get some acne breakouts (why, God, WHY?).  Also, using the “Purity Made Simple” cleanser makes me feel pampered.  It smells wonderful and the results are awesome. 

Using Smashbox Photo Finish Primer under my make-up.  Makes my other products go on velvety smooth.  It makes me feel pampered.

Reading Real Simple Magazine.  Just reading this magazine mellows me out.  I get lots of good ideas for organization and new products to try.  A treat in my mailbox every month.

Now that I’ve shared a few of MY favorite “feel-good products”, what are some of your favorite things?

Drive-bys not welcome here.

The phenomenon of the classic "drive-by" or "assvice" has been around the internet since I started reading on-line journals in 2001.  My frustration with this issue in based in my own personal philosophy about offering advice.

Now, don't get me wrong; I have ALOT of opinions.  Some I may even share here at "...that's not great".  But I am not so arrogant to believe that what has worked for me and my family will ultimately work for someone else.  I am careful not to give advice unless asked for it or I ask permission to offer any.  And I am certainly not cruel or condescending about it.

When it comes to parenting issues, I try to stay completely out of it unless advice is requested.  Even then, I try to give the pros and cons of each side and then why we chose the path we did.  Except for Britax car seats and The Happiest Baby on the Block book.  Those both rock and everyone should know about them. 

Since I started reading blogs when I was try to get pregnant, I read alot of mommy or ttc blogs.  Boy, women can be horrible to each other.  A classic example is the mom who struggled with infertility to get pregnant, finally has a newborn at home.  She shares her struggle with sleeplessness, sore nipples, and postpartum weight.  Odds are there will be a few comments like, "Be grateful you horrible BITCH" or "I would cut off my right arm to be in your position.  I wouldn't care if I ever slept again".  The new mom isn't meaning to rub salt in the would - she knows what it feels like.  She is sharing what she is experiencing; looking for a connection and support from her friends inside the internet.  It's like the protection of the computer screen gives people to permission to act horribly to each other.

My advice is this (oh, what you didn't ask for it?  too bad this time): if you don't like what you are reading, then just STOP READING.  And, god forbid, don't comment.  We don't need all the meanness.